Monday, April 9, 2012

Online Dating, Finale

At last, I am ready to share with you the finale of my online dating experience and give you my last word on the whole thing.

If you recall, the plan was: 3 months, 3 dates, no more, no less. Idea: to prove to the Universe, and probably to myself mostly, that I was ready to open up again, and put my money where my mouth is.

3 dates took place, and all I wanted to do is to leave this all behind me, and never ever do it again. Just not my thing, just not for me.

So after Steve (my last dramatic date), I stopped checking my account or responding to anyone for a few weeks. That was until one day, I received an email from a guy who, for some reason, caught my attention. Normally I would never even look at him, he wasn't my type. But this time it was exactly the reason I did; I was intrigued. He looked kind, and so sooo different from the usual type A guys I'd dated. I decided it could be very refreshing to have a date with someone totally different. What's the worst that could happen? With that sweet look and those puppy eyes, he could never hurt me, right?

So I said yes to his invitation to the Jazz at Lincoln Center. Never mind that I screwed up the dates first, and then tried to move it to another day. Things just kept popping up (or maybe my heart just wasn't there anymore, also I met someone interesting at my gym right then...). Whatever the reason, when we finally met, my initial impression of him was reinforced. Yes, not the guy I am usually attracted to, not the typical ambitious man with a serious life action. P seemed sweet and kind. I found it refreshing that he knew nothing about the stock market, and would never have to go to London or the Neverland for yet another business trip. He was always there, always prompt with his responses, always smiling, always saying Yes. He was present at all times.

So here is where it gets tricky and, unfortunately, I won't be able to share with you the details. First, simply because it's too private. Second, he reads my blog and the least I can do is to respect what we had.

We dated for 2+ months, one of them was great, the other one wasn't. As I called it "a breakup in slow motion". I ignored many signs, my closest friend and colleagues having little faith and having strong (outspoken, you know who you are!) opinions. I wanted to change my usual course of action and give it a chance.
Basically, I was too strong for him to handle, he wasn't strong enough for me to tolerate. We were too different. And I tried, believe me, I even closed my eyes on grammar mistakes in his emails/texts.. He didn't close his eyes on anything, and broke my trust in the most disgraceful manner. First time I learned what bittersweet tasted like.

It ended before my NY's trip back home, and then, I realized, Opposites do attract, but they don't work, at least not for me. I was glad I tried but I had to be honest with myself. Nothing I can do about it, I am attracted to a certain type, maybe not the easiest type out there, but at least I know, for sure, that when I find a place for me in their life, it REALLY does mean something.

Final word: online dating works for hookups, short-term relationships, and if you want to lose any passion for dating altogether. Still wishing you all good luck.

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